Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Change of Heart

There was a time when I thought less of long-distance relationships (LDR) than I do now. It’s not that I didn’t have them, because I’ve had them since the earliest days of my kinky life.

When I lived in Ft. Wayne, I had a part-time slave in Akron. Later I had one in St. Louis. I’ve had a few part-time relationships with guys in Chicago as well, though I tended to call them “fuck-buddies” rather than slaves. The local part-time slaves were more of the “temporarily part-time until they could move in” variety, though to be honest, none of them ever moved in.

While searching for a blog topic for this week, my new slave James suggested that I write about long-distance relationships. The reason for calling this blog “A Change of Heart” is that I find myself actually enjoying the fact that I have two slaves who live somewhere else. James, a slave of some five months, lives in Manhattan and Craig, who has served me long distance for more than three years, lives near Sioux City, Iowa. Patrick, of course, my slave of nearly 15 years, and I live together.

Although I’m prone to thinking that living together is the ideal, there is part of me that actually doubts that idea. Most LDRs are such because of some necessity. Craig is the primary care-giver for his 85-year-old mother, and James has a career in Manhattan that can’t be easily left behind. Both of them, therefore, have reasonable constraints that prohibit their moving in with us, though there is at least one spare bedroom waiting for either of them.

Considering the fact that there is always slave-sleeping-space available on the floor, finding room here in Chicago isn’t a problem. That said, the dungeon doesn’t have a view so dilettantes among the slave-wannabes might complain, albeit to no avail.

LDRs work for many reasons, accommodating necessity being only one of them. For me, they offer variety, since I believe in the maxim “The more, the merrier.” Since every relationship varies from couple to couple, I get to have three completely different master/slave experiences. Nice work if you can get it, isn’t it? Of course monogamists wouldn’t agree with me on that point, but that is their right.

Patrick enjoys the fact of my having other slaves as well. First, it gives him “time off” to pursue his own projects and to relax without having to cater to my every whim. Last week, James feted me to five days in Manhattan, leaving Patrick home alone to sleep and to finally do some household renovation that he has wanted to do for nearly seven years. Needless to say, he was pleased to have the time to himself.

Just as importantly, a visiting slave often gets assigned chores that take a few things off of Patrick’s to-do list, such as vacuuming the stairs or folding laundry.

The genesis of the multiple-slaves idea obviously arose from the fact of my high libido and my inability to be a one-man man. There is an added dimension to it, though, that I discovered only later. Some point in time, I realized how much I enjoyed being a master. I also came to the conclusion that I wanted to be more masterful, more controlling and more sadistic. More of a good thing, I concluded, could only be better.

It was clear to me that any relationship has limits. There was some amount of mastery, of control and of sadism that transgressed lines of reason, safety and health. For example, one can only beat a slave so hard before what is pleasurable becomes dangerous. The solution I arrived at was to beat two slaves, thereby expressing twice as much sadism while only inflicting half as much pain on the individual slave.

Craig and James, therefore, afford me the pleasure of increased mastery without the danger that would affect Patrick if he had to bear the full brunt of my desires. The fact that their physical services are limited by time and distance, also means that they can “enjoy” a weekend intensity that is impossible to maintain on a 24/7 basis.

There are, I should point out, practices that make a LDR work. Each slave has protocols that remind him of his servitude even when he is absent from Chicago. Primarily these have to do with his own sexual freedom, such as needing permission to masturbate or to play with others.

Each has developed the habit of frequent phone contact. James has been ordered to keep a journal. Another LDR applicant is under orders to send a daily email of devotion.

Though there are some LDR couples who have never had physical contact, I do expect that we meet and that we do so on some regular basis. With James, this has evolved into a once-a-month practice, while Craig has been averaging six-to-eight weeks between visits. The regularity of physical service is highly depended upon the constraints of distance, cost and time.

In the final analysis, I have to agree with my mother who said “Half a loaf is better than none.” Having James and Craig in my life is certainly a case of “Having my cake and eating it too.” Now I only have to ask “Where are the other 14?” — and when I have an answer to that question, all will be well.

Have a great week.


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