Monday, March 26, 2012

The Perfect or the Good?

            Since I created my “Dark Lord” profile, I have repeatedly found myself in a dialogue with guys who are seeking total incarceration in my dungeon for the rest of their lives. They pepper their profiles with ideas such as “no escape,” “permanent slavery,” and “prisoner for life.”

            Eventually the discussion comes down to this: “It costs approximately $1,000 a month to live in this house. That includes utilities, food, rent, internet, phone, etc. A conservative estimate is that health insurance would cost about $500 a month.... Do you expect your future master [me] to support you?”

            In their perfect fantasy, the answer is “Yes.” They think that the master they will find has enough wealth to financially support them for the rest of their lives.

            Here is a sample response: “Well Sir, its only income is about $250 a month… If it is to be kept captive it obviously won't be going to a job, so whether this for real or not depends on You Sir. If You are unwilling to feed it then so be it, Sir, it will not be able to submit to You Sir.”

My reply illustrates my opinion on this attitude: “As I thought... so go find yourself another owner.”

He answered: “Understood Sir, but it has to ask how You can turn a slave into what You specify in Your profile and have it go out to work, Sir?”

            OK, the vast majority of my readers have no intention of becoming slaves or masters. Their fantasies are much more practical and livable. Still, I think, there are lessons to be drawn from the above exchange.

            In a perfect world good scenes would last forever. Such an occurrence is the “stuff” of fantasy. In this case we can safely equate fantasy with fiction. Consider any good novel as an example. We rarely see the villain paying his bills or going to do the laundry. The heroine is seldom shown having her hair dyed or scrubbing pots and pans. With very few exceptions we don’t go to the movies to watch an actor sleep for eight hours, brush his or her teeth, or read a book.

            Real life is edited out of our fiction and is seldom recognized as part of the “reality” of a fantasy made true. Let’s look at the definition of fantasy from the Miriam-Webster dictionary: “fancy; especially: the free play of creative imagination; a creation of the imaginative faculty whether expressed or merely conceived: as a: a fanciful design or invention, b: a chimerical or fantastic notion, c : fantasia, d : imaginative fiction featuring especially strange settings and grotesque characters —called also fantasy fiction.”

            I’m certainly in favor of using our imagination to create a powerful and satisfying scene. The fact of the matter is that we can do a great deal of what might be fantasy in the limited time-frame of a scene. We can, after all, ignore our cell phones, disregard the laundry, or put off paying our bills for a weekend.

            It’s easy to “disappear” into a dungeon for a few days. It is problematic to disappear “without a trace” for six months or a year.

            So we must come to the conclusion that what might work in a scene (i.e., immobile bondage) won’t work for a long term relationship. In a perfect world, for instance, mummification in a full body plaster cast could go on forever. In this world, after the passage of a day or so, the need to eat, defecate, and move would become increasingly pressing.

            Sometime after the first month of seeking an “extreme slave” I began to question the place of limits in my fantasy. If I sought a “no limits” slave were there things that I just would not do? The best example was presented to me by a guy who wanted me to kill him. His “snuff” fantasy was hot and arousing but significantly illegal.

            So I gave some serious thought to what my limits were, believing that my limits protected both of us. I came up with three limits: in short, I wouldn’t endanger anyone’s health; do anything illegal; or allow a “slave” to become financial dependent upon me.

            Face it. A slave whose health is impaired is much less useful than a healthy one. I’m not willing to go to jail for my fantasy. A master who has to financially support his slave is, in my opinion, a slave to his slave.

            Just as I don’t play with people who won’t give up their limits for me, I won’t give up my limits for them. No problem, we just respect each other and go our separate ways.

            We can forego many things in the short run, such as lunch, regular exercise, or going to work. If we are seeking to experience our fantasy over an extended period of time, we must take into consideration what has to happen over that period of time. It’s one thing to negotiate a scene and quite another thing to negotiate a long term relationship.

            Whereas scenes “end” at a given time, we would hope that relationships are built to last. Unfortunately, as with the applicant quoted above, we often fail to distinguish between scene and relationship.

            I think that we can look at the example of a common human relationship, such as marriage. Once two people are married, that relationship continues 24/7. When “dad” goes to work he goes as a married man, even though he does very little at work that involves his marriage. Marriage (usually) involves sex, a honey moon, children (or not), sharing one’s income with one’s partner, etc. and work doesn’t.

            Going to work does not end the marriage. In the same way, having a job doesn’t cancel out one’s slavery. Even at work the slave is going to have to obey his or her master, keep the rules that have been agreed upon, and will have his or her choices limited in ways that his co-workers might not even imagine.

In fact, in this case, “going to a job” is an expression of the slave’s obedience. Her surrender of a paycheck is another example of the same thing. My applicant asks: “How You can turn a slave into what You specify in Your profile and have it go out to work, Sir?”

            Easy. You go to work because you are my property and you do what you are told to do. You see, my fantasy is that I am a master, not a jailer or a prison warden. You have the right to define your fantasy anyway you like. I suspect, though, that in the long run, you will have a hard time finding the master who agrees to become your warden for more than a week or so.

            So I am left asking the question “Is your need for a perfect fantasy so great that you will forego a good one?” Isn’t this one of those times when “half a loaf is better than none?” Remember I am not implying that the practical and pragmatic long term relationship omits the extreme, fantasy-fulfilling inclusion of great scenes. I am only saying that scenes and relationships have two entirely different sets of criteria.

            In the first case, a scene can be as wild as you can handle. In the second, the weekend ends on Monday morning.

            Perhaps this tenacious hold on an impossible fantasy is subconsciously purposeful, since it guarantees that it will never happen. There is therefore no need to settle for second best because one would rather have the fantasy, discuss it online ad nauseam, and never have to give it up for something that is more attainable.

            All that, you see, and you can blame your lack of fantasy fulfillment on recalcitrant masters rather than on your own self-defeating retention of a never-to-be actualized fantasy. If fiction is what you want, then call yourself an author and write it down. If life is what you want, then get real and enjoy what you can while you can.

Have a great week. Jack

* * * * *

From The Midwest Book Review:

The strangest of things can bring you closer to the divine. “The Dionysian Alliance” is a suspenseful novel following Detective Benjamin Kramer and his discovery of his ancestry within a religious order that promises to bring him into every dirty thing he can imagine, followers of Dionysos, the ancient god of wine and ecstasy. “The Dionysian
Alliance” is  a fun and riveting read that should prove difficult to put down.

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You can send me email at mrjackr@leathermail.com or visit my website at http://www.LeatherViews.com. You can also subscribe to my blog at LeatherMusings.blogspot.com. Copyright 2012 by Jack Rinella, all rights reserved.

4 comments:

  1. You mentioned above that if a slave is financially dependent on the Master that the Master becomes a slave to the slave. What is your opinion of relationships where the slave is told to stay at home (even though they are capable of working)? Does having the Master make that decision instead of the slave requesting financial dependence change the circumstances and your opinion?

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  2. You say you don't want a slave to be finatually dependent but they are still dependent upon you finatually because they turn they're income over to you. And they become dependent on you finatually because they no longer know how to manage an income. So what happens if in the end the Master sls be relationship disolves or something happens to the Master they are left unable to be finatually stable?

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