You'd think that I would have learned by now, but part of me is repeatedly surprised by people who are seeking sex, either casual or committed, and who act to their own disadvantage.
I'm not sure whether it's a case of being stupid, uninformed, manner-less or clueless. When I ask such non-performers why they did something, it is usually with the answer that they are "shy."
Yes, they are shy of common sense, native intelligence, important information or manners. Really, you know, everything you need to know about getting laid, married, fucked, or whatever you're seeking you were, as they say, taught in kindergarten. You probably let the teacher's voice go in one ear and out the other.
As you can tell from the title of this blog, the person you (mostly) hurt is yourself. Your flaky, faulty, thoughtless actions only injure yourself and perpetuate the state you wish to end, be it loneliness, horniness, or single-hood.
OK – Disclaimer time: Maybe this doesn't apply to. If it doesn't that's great. In that case, if you want to learn how to shoot yourself in the foot, do some (or all) of the following:
Seriously now. Let your discretion, fear, shyness, guilt or embarrassment stop you from passing on helpful, interesting, necessary, alluring or enticing information. The less your prospective partner knows about you, the better are the chances he or she won't bother you any longer.
Give false information.
Really. The truth won't help in a relationship and if you think the truth won't get "out" then you are setting yourself for failure. That's what you want isn't it?
Forget who's watching.
You're right about talk. No one cares if you can "walk the walk." When you say one thing and do another no one's going to notice. By the way, if your prospect is hypocritical as well, ignore the hypocrisy. After all you certainly don't want to succeed, do you?
Don't keep your word.
If you say you'll do something, like call or meet or send a picture, you don't really have to, since no one is watching. No one cares if you're a no show or don't return calls. They'll just think you're a flake and you will therefore fail.
Fail to show up.
OK, this is a repeat. But I can tell you from vast experience that not showing up when you say you will is really a good way to avoid relationships, tricks, sex, and success. By the way, whatever you do, if you're not going to show up, never call the other person to warn them. Let your inaction tell them what kind of jerk you are.
Confuse discretion with deception.
The closet, after all, is really the safest place to be. We all understand that cheaters, liars, fakes and flakes have to be discreet.
Underestimate your friends.
Your friends don't really want to know the real you, so be careful not to tell them the important things in your heart. You're right to think that sharing fantasies, hopes, and desires is something that will end their friendship with you. A frivolous friendship is much better than a real one.
Live in fear.
It really is better for you.
Don't make plans or time.
Making plans is dangerous because then you'll have to do something. In the same vein, setting aside time to reach your goals is no way to guarantee failure. We do agree, don't we, that sexual fulfillment of any kind is a very low priority, as are relationships and true friendships. Face it: your desires aren't worth making time for either.
Compromise your ethics, your ideals, or your dreams.
Only by compromising will you ensure that you'll never get what you truly want. It is as simple as that.
Ignore your faults.
This is the most important activity. After all, the one certain thing is that the world and everyone in it is wrong, not you.
Have a great week, even if it is all by yourself. Jack
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You can send me email at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit my website at http://www.LeatherViews.com. You can also subscribe to my blog at LeatherMusings.blogspot.com. Copyright 2011 by Jack Rinella, all rights reserved.